What lonely feels like inside my head

The sounds of the night, 

ticking air conditioners, the hum of electronics.

the soft sweat purr of my Josephine.

Some days with you are pure heaven.

Some a drag through muck.

The strength of your eyes

The love in your arms. 

The hurt of your actions.

Your intentions confuse me. Strain me

I used to think I had it all figured out, 

now my over thinking complicates things.

When I think about it, 

I know I love you, my feelings are in a knot

When I finally have you,

should I be happy or angry.

I can't help but feel abandoned. 

Left at the mercy of my own crazed mind, 

naked in the recesses of my soul.

So at the nights end

I will do the same as I have the nights before.